The other side of the secretariat

Who is behind those emails to you? Not the side on the secretariat page, who are they on the inside? This is a special edition of MVMUN EXPOSED.

secretary general - amita "snake" mahajan

I have a theory. I think existential philosophy is a load of crap. What lessons Nietzsche and Camus bumbled around trying to teach could be succinctly taught by my good friend Amita Mahajan through her unfortunate but unique experiences. What’s the meaning of life? Camus says it’s incomprehensible. Nietzsche says you have to create your own. What would Amita Mahajan say?

Well, she would probably detail her hardworking lifestyle, and then humbly mention her achievements. Then she’d describe the path she took to becoming the president of two prominent clubs on campus - taking the presidency as a sophomore for speech. Here, you would expect her to talk about the payoff for her hard work. You would expect her to speak of the admiration people give her, or the respect that she commands, or the awards that line her bookshelves.

But she wouldn’t. Instead, she would bitterly speak of the scourge of her existence. Her successes do not define her - two words do. Those two words are “verbal commendation.”

I remember Amita getting a verbal. The mighty MUN president stood there, all dressed up in her powerplaying suit. The entire room was cowed by her imperious presence. Then, it happened.

The heavens rumbled as the MUN Goddess herself was pummeled by the force of a thousand voices, each of them thundering “A verbal commendation goes to Amita Mahajan.” Mortal men watched in awe as a God was humbled before their eyes. Verbal. Commendation. The divinity surrounding Amita had been shattered - a Goddess had been dragged from her heavenly post down to the world of mortals, with two words.

It was a tragedy the Greeks themselves would have approved of. The mighty heroine, hardworking and stoic, fought valiantly only to be struck down by fate.

What does Amita Mahajan think the meaning of life is? Life is becoming the president of two clubs only to be remembered for a verbal. Life is disappointment. Life is tragedy. Were you looking for a meme? That’s too bad. Memes will only provide you temporary solace from crippling existential anxiety. Amita would know.

Co-Undersecretary General - Nicholas "Salty" Chen

Nicholas Chen is perhaps best known in the MUN sphere for his numerous and diverse set of verbals, including not one but two NAIMUN verbals. You may see delegates pointing him out throughout breaks and committee sessions as the "verbal guy" due to the spiciness of verbal memes he's in (highlights include meme1 and meme2 ). Apart from verbaling at conferences, Nicholas enjoys petting eagles, spreading Marxist beliefs at Philosophy Club, and coding videogames to keep officers entertained at summer meetings.

subordinates and not as powerful people

VP of Training - Sarah "RUN FAR" Feng

As one of the juniors on the officer team this year, Sarah Feng belongs to the pristine category of delegates who haven't (yet) received a verbal commendation. On the flip side, her record is left stark by her lack of gavels- something she hopes to resolve this year. Often seen running in cross country and track, we wonder if she is trying to run away from the craziness of our officer team. Sarah Feng is also almost never on our officer group chat, but is always online, resulting in many of us thinking that she truly is running away.

Training Auxiliary - Amit "debater" Chandramouly

Amit is a junior at monta vista, like many other juniors at monta vista. he is alive and is incidentally in model un. he seems pretty nice which is not bad and is probably even good. hopefully this will be a good year in which he will not crash and burn. As a member of tratiorous debate, amit frequently indulges in Speech and Debate, an enemy of the state.

VP of Logistics - Eric "calc god" Wang

Eric Wang spends hours trying not to die in the laborious task of handling conferences. To de-stress from these hassles, he runs away endlessly. He can also be found selling cookies from girls scou--err no, boy scouts get to sell overpriced popcorn. As a LIT gOd, Eric frequently denies his true talents and constantly claims that he has "failed", when in reality, gets 4s on every single HAMLIT RQ!

Logistics Auxilary - Apoorva "MOCK TRIAL" Sirigineedi

Apoorva is a distracted officer. Often times you need to get her attention multiple times. This can't be shown more clearly than her complete ignorance of Kennedy's mock trial partnership with monta vista's mock trial club. Apoorva is the president of mv mock trial but sometimes you just gotta wonder if she's truly dedicated. Perhaps it's because mun is just too great distracting her from her other responsibilities.

VP of Finances - Sivam "too tall" Agarwalla

Sivam Agarwalla towers over the rest of the club and has an annoying habit of stealing every single USB he sees, whether someone’s watching or not. Having sworn allegiance to the Vapenation, Sivam never misses a beat when the discussion of memes comes around. Along with being the VP of Finances at MVMUN, Sivam is also a self-described bleach connoisseur.

Finance Auxilary - Anirudh "john stuart mill" Chaudhary

The communist lover and demon summoner is my subordinate responsible for handling the cash flow in this great club. With a good verbal record and extensive political knowledge, Anirudh has managed to both powerplay and get sharked in committee. Even though he may look fluffy and soft, his extensive knowledge in human nature puts people to fear. With extreme views supported by logic, those approaching him, including myself, should be cautious when sharing their political opinions.

PR Auxilary - Karl "ded" Goeltner

Karl Goeltner, more commonly know in MUN as “speech spy” is a Junior that probably spends most of his time thinking about how speech is better than MUN. Some of his specialties, are speech, MUN, and doing his homework during meetings instead of paying attention. Although he is a part of the public relations branch, his poster and flyer making skills are limited, which leaves this difficult skill to his wonderful partner, Jiani Tian. If you ever need help from him, he’ll most likely be somewhere near speech people, watching Game of Thrones, or participating with MUN but secretly thinking about speech.

PR Auxilary - Jiani "anime freak" Tian

Commonly found glued at a screen of the latest romance anime episode, Jiani Tian is obsessed with every single anime in existence. When she is not stuck making posters ;), Jiani is often found dancing on the volleyball courts, yet still for some reason, is unable to hit the ball! Perhaps she is thinking of that latest Bungou Stray Dogs episode! Besides her incessant need to constantly indulge in glittery-eyed characters with random superpowers, Jiani loves K-POP - to a very scary extreme. Sometimes she can be seen in the back of the classroom bursting into the latest K-POP song...

Secretary and Mentors

Secretary - David "Waiting for World War III" Dang

David "Waiting for World War III" Dang is sometimes known as the resident tryhard dictator of Monta Vista. He claims to be a cold, intelligent, emotionless machine, but can’t spell the word “weird” correctly, and claims to be a strong supporter of Chairman Mao, even though he never knew him in person, hasn't read any of his works, and can't write his name in Chinese. He desperately wants to rule the world, but secretly, he fears that he'll just be another white collar worker to slave away for their entire life, and never amounts to anything else.

Mentor - Alekhya “Still Waiting to become a Disney star” Natarajan

Alekhya Natarajan tries just a little too hard to be the coolest person in the room. She actually spends a concerning amount of time obsessing over old Disney movies and imagining what life would be like if she knew Zac Efron. She also seems weirdly happy all the time, but it could just be the copious amounts of caffeine that she consumes and the adrenaline she’s (disturbingly) always filled with. Someday, she hopes to go live in Canada and eat really good maple syrup with very humble lumberjacks forever.

Mentor - Jeffrey "sleep-deprived" Liu

Jeffrey Liu is a sleep-deprived child that doesn't take showers very often. In fact, he once survived a 5-day MUN without showering at all! Otherwise, he loves watching movies during committee and likes to browse Facebook when he isn't supposed to.

Mentor - Brandon "salty" Guo

Oh, how to begin with Brandon Guo, affectionately known as bguo. He truly is one of a kind. Here in MV, salt is one of the prevalent words EVER. Well, bguo brings it to a whole new level. With his streak as a two time silent gavel winner at SMUNC, he is the peak, the epitome, the apotheosis, the embodiment, the essence, the ultimate salt god (thank the lord for thesaurus.com). Winner of the 2017 “Saltiest delegate,” there has NEVER someone as salty as him. But through his salt, last year’s officer team decided to pair him up with actually op people, looking at you Nick Chen, in order to quell his saltiness. So don’t let his award streak impress you! With his inability to tie a tie, as well as being a traitor to MUN by being a part of Speech and Debate, bguo is a true meme.