secretary general - amita "snake" mahajan
I have a theory. I think existential philosophy is a load of crap. What lessons Nietzsche and Camus bumbled around trying to teach could be succinctly taught by my good friend Amita Mahajan through her unfortunate but unique experiences. What’s the meaning of life? Camus says it’s incomprehensible. Nietzsche says you have to create your own. What would Amita Mahajan say?
Well, she would probably detail her hardworking lifestyle, and then humbly mention her achievements. Then she’d describe the path she took to becoming the president of two prominent clubs on campus - taking the presidency as a sophomore for speech. Here, you would expect her to talk about the payoff for her hard work. You would expect her to speak of the admiration people give her, or the respect that she commands, or the awards that line her bookshelves.
But she wouldn’t. Instead, she would bitterly speak of the scourge of her existence. Her successes do not define her - two words do. Those two words are “verbal commendation.”
I remember Amita getting a verbal. The mighty MUN president stood there, all dressed up in her powerplaying suit. The entire room was cowed by her imperious presence. Then, it happened.
The heavens rumbled as the MUN Goddess herself was pummeled by the force of a thousand voices, each of them thundering “A verbal commendation goes to Amita Mahajan.” Mortal men watched in awe as a God was humbled before their eyes. Verbal. Commendation. The divinity surrounding Amita had been shattered - a Goddess had been dragged from her heavenly post down to the world of mortals, with two words.
It was a tragedy the Greeks themselves would have approved of. The mighty heroine, hardworking and stoic, fought valiantly only to be struck down by fate.
What does Amita Mahajan think the meaning of life is? Life is becoming the president of two clubs only to be remembered for a verbal. Life is disappointment. Life is tragedy. Were you looking for a meme? That’s too bad. Memes will only provide you temporary solace from crippling existential anxiety. Amita would know.